Seeking external validation

When i was young, i wanted compliments and attention from others because there was one girl in particular who seemed to get it. But something happened recently that made me feel the need to defend myself, particularly when it came to the way i dress. It wasn't until later, when i had a conversation with someone else- they helped me realize that defending myself was actually a sign that i had self esteem eventhough it was unstable. They also helped me understand how fleeting external validation is and encouraged me to focus on self care practices.

I used to think i had no self-esteem but realizing that i always had it, made me happy eventhough i knew that i needed to work on it. So i started making small changes like- my skin was bad because i drank a lot of coffee so i decided to switch to herbal tea instead. By making choices that benefited me, i was showing myself that i deserve to be paid attention to.

And i noticed that the more i focused on self care practices, the less i care about wanting attention from others because i'm already giving myself all the attention i need. And i'm so grateful to be in a place where i'm getting better and better at not seeking external validation. It took me so many years.